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(love me)

IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ [17 Feb 2005|11:00pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i have a new journal.

xoxbreakawayxox </p>

(love me)

erm [15 Feb 2005|08:40pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

Good day =)
helped misty(my big 'sister')move into a different dorm room-that was..uhh..interesting..lol
what else....
AHHH! Ally (my lil 'sister'.<3!) and my Heather had a condom full of sprite.
hahah. i love this state.
i miss a few of ya'll tho.
north carolina has given me some hard times...but in the long run..ALL my friends here are totally awesome (and a few are extremely hott)
cowboys rock.
so does billy tho- i love you billy.
im gonna go...uhm..do stuff
love you

(3 broken hearts | love me)

[14 Feb 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Happy Valentines Day ya'll!
ah hell i hate this holiday with a fiery passion.
Actually today wasnt all that bad.
The choir got to skip school to go sing to old ppl and little kids.
and OMG the guys at south caldwell high school....HOTTTT...
Ally + Me = so going to that school next year!! HEEELLLLSSS YESSS!!!
lol lol ok ok enough.
Dad got me the most gorgeous ring and necklace.
And the biggest bouquet of red roses.
awwwww it was sooo sweet.
well ya'll. i hope you had a good valentines day.


(love me)

bloop [13 Feb 2005|03:46pm]
[ mood | confused ]

eck - so tomorrow is Valentines Day....yippee...not...
hate the holiday with a fiery passion. lol.
I hope ya'll have a great Valentines Day.
Anyone wanna be my valentine??
Anyone in California i mean, lol.

Not much to update about. Just the usual.
My 'big sister' (misty) and my 'little sister' (ally) hate each other right now and i love them both so i dont want to choose sides, and bleh..it sux azz.
Misty swears she will NOT forgive Ally, so meh...hope i can work something out so i dont have to choose sides..

hit me up on tha celly!

LoVe Ya!!!




(1 broken heart | love me)

"...dont dwell on what you have lost, just hope for the best...." [06 Feb 2005|06:15pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

hey guys.
im back.
i spent the weekend with Ally.
As usual it was soooo much fun. 
but i did break down at around 11 on saturday night, and Ally and i stayed up talking for hours and hours.
We talked about everything thats going on with me-things and people.
We talked about how i miss some one so much-we talked about dad-we talked about me.
I am so lucky to have her.
Shes like the little sister that i never had, and she told me that im like a big sister to her.
I love that girl.
Im not saying that im doing well with some recent "changes", but im saying that im lucky to have the wonderful friends that ARE still in my life.
So dads in California right now.
i get the house for a week.
i love ya'll

"...you cant let yourself feel guilty, and you cant give up hope. Just keep trying. things will get better. Everything is gonna be okay..." <---i love that girl

(love me)

"...God heals us when we're broken - Don't leave your heart unspoken..." [02 Feb 2005|11:28pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

just got back (wow, its late) from this thing at a church with misty.
it was the best service i have ever been to.
it really helped me think, truly THINK, about things happening in my life.
he was talking about teens killing themselves, also...it made me think twice about some recent decisions i had made...
it really touched me.
it touched misty two.
Then we went over to Jackie and Lee's and spent a couple hours over there.
i got to see my 'daughter'.
she is the MOST PRECIOUS thing ever.
she is going to be the most beautiful little girl.
ill post pictures next time i get to see her.
hmmmm...then we went to get gas and misty 'stole' Janices car.
o man...i love misty.
shes my girl
AHHH!!! yaaay!!! misty and i are going to Florida for spring break.
ooooo misty me FLORIDA = heeeellllssss yesssss!!

now on a less happy and bouncy note -

its pretty lonely without steffanie...
she was my one person to confide in.
but like my girls tell me every day to keep me up and moving on -
shit happens to the best of people. sometimes there is nothing you can do to change it. god has reasons for everything that happens.
right now i cant see what He has for me in taking steffanie away from me...
but i guess ill find out (and it better be good, lol, or he and i will need to have a SERIOUS talk).
all i can say is that i am so completely blessed to have the people that have been watching over me for the past month.
its been hard, and recovery is always painful.
but ive got God and the loves of my lives watching over me and keeping me strong.

i love you guys with all of my heart

i miss you my loves.

"...God heals us when we're broken - Don't leave your heart unspoken..."

(3 broken hearts | love me)

[01 Feb 2005|03:52pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

hello my loves.
i just wanted to let ya'll know that i have a Greatest Journal now.
My name is xlostandinlovex.
If any ya'll have one, lemme know your journal name and ill add you.
now on to the update:

Everything is basically fine in my life (other than dad is REALLY sick)
Im TRYING to find a good song to sing cuz my chorus teacher says i have a great voice so misty and i are singing a song together, and so are ally and i.
those are my girls.
i dont know what id do without those two out here to keep an eye on me and keep me from screwing up big time...
...plus they are great for whipped cream fights at 3 in the morning...haha
ally left a big orange cheeto mark on my face when she kissed me on the cheek. lol. dork. she liked me too!!! LOL...
actually life out here is getting better...now that i have ally and misty (no one will ever replace ya'll!!!!)

but ya...i miss ya'll so much (or some of ya'll at least)
oh man..i cant wait for summer vacation...
all i can say is me + my girls + a beach + my guys = hell YES!!
haha...descriptive enough for you?

im gonna go.
gotta go see the horses then go pick something up for Misty at walmart & the post office.)
love you
*kisses* (without cheeto lips) lol

Allys sexy cheer pic. lol, i feel special, i got paid to take cheer pix. but yea, shes my girl.

Mistys picture =)    haha what a special cheer captain.  <3

(4 broken hearts | love me)

[30 Jan 2005|08:10pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I dont know what to do...
dad is really sick...
if i lose him, then i have no one...
im so lost...
what do i do...?

(love me)

[29 Jan 2005|10:21am]
[ mood | ditzy ]

haha. hell yes.
i guess it snowed all night and its gonna snow all day!!
theres already like 2 inches of snow.
fun. =D
just wanted to let you know!!
i love you!!

(2 broken hearts | love me)

yaaay!! [22 Jan 2005|10:59pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

yaaay!!! its FINALLY snowing.
i went outside and my car has about an inch of snow on it already!!
im sooo happy!!
i feel like such a little kid-im gonna go play in it!
im gonna go be a kid until i freeze and have to come back in!
i l u <3

(1 broken heart | love me)

haha yay...lol...dont ask.. [21 Jan 2005|03:33pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

haha lifes a bitch.
o well it happens.
mikes being an asshole (but wats new? ex's suck. lol)
hmm...misty and ally are crazy...man i love them.
'miss' allison needs to fucking stop getting in trouble though before they kick her out.
they already got rid of Ben and i DONT need to lose ally too.
nope nope nope.
but other than that, lifes great =)
it snowed today. that made me happy =)
gonna be more snow tonight.

since im being random, ill give a shoutout to my WONDERFUL california loves that mean the world to me *aka the people i couldnt live without!(or at least the ones that have elle jay!):
 charlee, dorota, rachel, renae, brittany, ashley, baker, shayna, lizzy, kaila, nicole, rhiannon, troy, vanessa, megan and gina (did i forget anyone)

well, im gonna take my happiness out to hickory to go to the mall and dinner (haha hott cowboys)

i love ya'll (or at least the ones i named, lol)


(love me)

[17 Jan 2005|07:04pm]
[ mood | cold ]

its below freezing outside.
my cheeks are numb.
it sucks.
*tear* no 1 comments anymore..im so unloved. =(
not much going on...hmmm...
ooh!!! new digital camera!!!
and i have some pix to post!

sorry they're blurry, i had to resize them and it didnt work out all that well.

Ally and Parish (awww..arent they the cuteset??)

Ally and Heather (right before Ally dropped her, lol)

Parish, Ally, Heather and Mike being Charlies Angels. haha dorks

Heather and Ally (biology sux!)

there ya go!!
my craaaaazy ppl (only a couple of them)

btw congrats GHHS cheerleaders, i heard u did well. =)

i miss u all!!!!


(love me)

bloop [15 Jan 2005|11:23pm]
[ mood | busy ]


today was a shopping day. lol.

i got a new digital camera (hell yes!)

and i got a picture printer.

o yea i got a new cd player too cuz i left my old one when i was out in san diego. lol

but yea, im gonna get my crazy friends to pose for pix on monday, so ill be sure to post them on here. =)

i love you all and i miss you so so much!!!

(love me)

='( [11 Jan 2005|10:50pm]
[ mood | blah ]

today was the worst day at school since ive been back from xmas break.
my ex (mike) was saying all kinds of shit about me in first period.
he was basically calling me fucked up, crazy, useless...the usual shit.
i swear i almost started fucking crying.
im not even joking.
so today was the first actual bad day since ive been back.

i swear....am i really as fucked up as people tell me?

not only that but im missing home.
seeing ya'll again was so great, but leaving hurt like hell.

and i dont know why...but im missing steffanie.
i know our friendship is over, and i know that a couple of very special friends got me over the whole thing...but its wierd not having her to talk to.
im just not used to it yet, thats all.

all things considered, though, im doing just fine


(1 broken heart | love me)

hahah cool whip fights at midnight are the best! [09 Jan 2005|08:05pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

haha this weekend was so much fun. its actually worth typing for once:

misty and ally and i all were on our way to Allys house, then we decided to go to the bowling alley to play pool with her boyfriend. ill skip all tha details, but ill just say we so wanted to kick this chicks ass. lol.

after the whole bowling alley thing, we were really awake so we sat at allys doing random shit, then at like midnight, we went to the kitchen and misty got a jar of cool whip out of the fridge. i accidentally got some on my finger so i wiped it on her shirt. then she took a bigass handfull of it and shoved it in my face. then ally came over near us and got a facefull of it too. So then starts a MAJOR cool whip fight. haha we were running around the house with cool whip (and somehow didnt wake up her parents), and i jacked up my finger on a door. haha smart. but yea, then we all had to get in the shower and wash the cool whip out of our hair. by the time we went to sleep it was like 3:30, then we slept till, like, 11. lol.

Then later we decided to go all the way out to hickory to go to the mall. there was a wannabe Usher. haha.
we were walking around and ally saw this faceplate she wanted for her phone. long story about the funny shit that happened, but i dont feel like typing.

I somehow ended up having to sleep on the floor. we all fell asleep watching Not Another Teen Movie. haha funny shit.
the whipped cream fight was by far the best thing ive done in a long ass time. haha.

allys mom said that we all have to go over there another weekend, and she'll be sure to have more cool whip (this time ill get pictures, dammit!!

well im gonna go!

I love you all!!

(love me)

***shit*** [04 Jan 2005|10:49pm]
[ mood | numb and broken-hearted ]

i have been thinking about *him* a lot in the past couple of days.
i dont know why.
i hate it.

thinking about him makes my heart break even more.
i dont know.

i should stop talking about it, eh?

im gonna go. im not really in the mood to type a lot.

i l u all lots.


(1 broken heart | love me)

wow...long...sorry!!! [03 Jan 2005|07:34pm]
[ mood | touched ]

im baaaack!
man it sucks to be back in reality.
two weeks went by too damn fast!!
but hey...it was good while it lasted.

this new year has brought many changes...
it brought the loss of friendship of a best friend -
but at the same time it brought me new confidence in myself and a new meaning to my life.

i guess that its true...

With loss comes the gain of something new.

that is one of the most important things to remember.

haha listen to me beaing all special-like. lol. im a retard, i know. but hey,for now (and for the first time in a while) im a pretty happy retard. lol. so maybe im not a retard...maybe dork is more the word... lol jk jk. well nichole and i got pics done before i left.

the hardest part of my life now is saying goodbye to the people that i love so dearly whenever i go out to visit and then have to leave.

This new year has also brought the realisation of which people i am going to have as my friends for the rest of my life.

thank you all who made this new year one that i look forward to.

i love you!!!!!!!

(6 broken hearts | love me)

[12 Dec 2004|12:15am]
[ mood | mischievous ]

Friends Only - Comment to be Added

hey guys. i decided that only my friends should read some of the crap i write in here. ill make some entries public.


(3 broken hearts | love me)

[11 Dec 2004|10:45pm]
[ mood | its s'posed to snow 2nite.yay! ]

*yawn*. im tired. looong day.
Misty and Heather and a bunch of other ppl and i went out for the day. it was fun.
ahh! one week from today and i will be back home!!
I miss CA sooo much!
but i gotta admit, i do love my NC rednecks. haha. rednecks are awesome (so is my accent. lol)
i cant wait to see you all!
so much to do and so many to see - but so little time!!
but yea. I hope all ya'll that went to Formal tonigh had tons and tons of fun!!!
I soooo wish i was out there so i could go - yet, i know i wouldnt have had a date or anything soooooo... lol
well, im tired so im gonna go...uh...not sleep. =)
i love ya'll so so much and i am so excited to see you!!!!!!!!

oo! here, so u can feel special!! - i hope i get to see u when i come out, baker!!!

(5 broken hearts | love me)

[10 Dec 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

hey ya'll!!
AHHHHHHHH!!! a week from tomorrow and im going HOOOMMMEEE!!! heheh
i getta see all my loves and my sisters (ashley and afton, of COURSE!).
omg im sooo excited!
so misty and i are going to this christmas play thingy tomorrow with dad and janice.
so i gotta wake up to see the horses (and my new baby horse Cherokee!!!)
eeek its rainy and coooold and its gonna snow soon
omg omg omg i was actually HAPPY today!
it was the first time in soooo long.
things are looking up.
ill update later!!
i love you all!

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